Tuesday, October 23, 2012

It Takes a Village

We have all heard the saying "it takes a village to raise a child". For my husband and I, it takes a village to HAVE a child. Our journey is nearing another milestone. And I have been thinking of how many people have been a part of this journey and helped get us to this place.

Our family has been a support for us every step of the way. Whether it has been emotional or financial support, they have been there. This journey has been as difficult for them as it has been for us. A parent wants nothing more then to give their child their hopes and dreams. Well no matter how hard they try, then can't "make" this happen. And that is a terribly frustrating place for a parent to be. A parent doesn't want to see their child in pain or hurting. And this experience has brought on a lot of both. And it leaves a parent feeling helpless. Thank you all of those who are supporting our parents while we are on our fertility journey. I know you have been then to wipe the tears of sadness or disappoint from their eyes and have said prayers for us every day. And thank you to all of our family who has supported us with prayers, support and well wishes.

At first, Niles and I choose not to share what we were going through with friends. We didn't want to bring them down with bad news or burden them with our problems. But everyone knew something was wrong. When we shared what was happening, everyone understood and the outpouring of support and love has been overwhelming. I will get random texts or messages on Facebook that someone is thinking of me. Or I'll receive a wee gift in the mail - like a Mickey Mouse from my best friend so I can hug him every time I get sad. Or an kneeling angel figure from a friend who also went through fertility troubles. It is overwhelming how many people just want us to have this gift - a gift of having a baby.

The most stunning and amazing gift someone has offered to us, is the gift of their body to be our surrogate if it gets to that point. One person who offered this to me is a dear friend who I have known since I was 9 years old. And another, is someone that I don't know well but we our friends on facebook. Can you imagine? There are people out there who care so much and want to help so much that they will give over their bodies to help us? It was a stunning and amazing gift that still brings me to tears.

Support from the unknown has helped us on this journey. By putting my story out there and sharing what we are experiencing through social media has led to an outpouring of support, prayers, and well wishes. I belong to a Disney board. We talk about all things Disney all day! My kind of place!! I opened up and shared with them our struggles and journey. One of the members on the boards shared a story with me. He said that they had trouble having a baby and while walking in the wee hours of the morning at the resort they were staying, Port Orleans Riverside, they ran into a cast member who was on the bridge. This cast member told them a story of making a wish on the bridge by tossing a dime into the river. They tossed in their dime, made their wish, and the next year, they brought their daughter to Disney World and went to that spot on that bridge. Their wish came true. This past September, Niles and I happened to be staying at this same resort and we tossed our dimes into the river on the bridge and made our wish. I shared this story and what we did in a trip report after we returned home. The responses I got to this story was stunning!!!! People who have never met me and don't know me beyond just a person who dishes out Disney advice have started praying for us and sending us pixie dust! One member who is traveling to this same resort in a few weeks with her niece is going to take a dime and make a wish for us. She is having her niece make one too. Her niece is an IVF baby. I get chills just thinking about how remarkable this all is! How many people want us to have a baby and will do anything to help us!!

I have been seeing a therapist since February to help me navigate through this emotional and difficult journey. I can say with out any doubt, I'm a different and the best version of myself now. Its been her weekly efforts that have helped me focus on what is important and put myself first. She has helped me to control the worries and anxieties that this experience has brought up. I am stronger and happier and am ready for the next step of my journey thanks to her.

The medical staff at the fertility doctors office has been so supportive and wonderful. When Niles and I began going to a fertility doctor in early 2011, we were with a different doctors office. The doctor, although amazing, had a staff and office that was anything but. We left them and started with a new office and doctor and have been so happy with their support and their efforts.

I never really bought into the world the acupuncture until it was recommend by a friend I went to high school with who suffered from some fertility issues. And as I researched it and looked into it, I realized the benefits. Then I did it a few times, and I was sold! It has helped tremendously getting through this journey.

Going through fertility treatments is a time consuming and difficult journey. Without the support and love from the families I work for, I would not have been able to do any of this. They have all been understanding, supportive and want this so bad for us!!! They have let me take time off for doctors appointments and have been beyond supportive while I go through the fertility treatments. Being able to share this journey with my families has meant the world to me. They are truly an extension of my own family. They share their children with me and let me into their lives, homes and family every day. Being able to be surrounded by such love and support every day has made this process easier on me. I know I can depend on my families and they can depend on me. They are always there, to give hugs, love, support, and even...shots!

This is my village. A village I love and that I love being a part of. Each member of this village has been a part of our journey. Without you all, we would not have been able to get through this. In a week, on my birthday, this journey takes its final step. Thank you to everyone who has helped, supported, loved and prayed for us. We love you. We love our village.

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