Saturday, October 20, 2012


Well, the journey continues. I still don't know anything specific. This has been going on for 8 days. 8 days of tests and monitoring just to determine when the embryo transfer will be. I realized that I have a case of the "I wantsies". I realized this a.m. that I have used the word "want" so many times in the past week that I am actually alarmed!! Its been everything from, I want to know when I will have my transfer, I want to know how is giving me my trigger shot, I want to know when I will find out if the IVF transfer worked, I want to find a pair of skinny jeans, I want organize my closet, I want a new cable knit sweater...Its all "I want".

But what I really want...I want that moment...that moment when for the first time in my life, they tell me I am going to have a baby. I want to know what that feels like. I want to know that joy. I want to know what it feels like to have my most precious dream come true.

Everything just filler. Nervous energy and anxiety as I wait. I am making my Christmas lists, planning on when I can go to Disney again, pinning my little brain out on Pinterest! What ever I can do to use up that nervous energy as I wait...wait for what I truly want.

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